Jun 22, 2019
I am today announcing my candidacy for the office of President of the United States. I am running on the Republican ticket, despite the fact that I am a lifelong Democrat and occasionally an Independent, Libertarian, and Progressive. I am doing this because the Grand Old Party should have at least one adult running in 2020. The Democrats have a couple of dozen (as of today) and it isn’t fair that the Republicans shouldn’t have any.

I will not solicit financial support nor seek to get my name on any state ballot. Rather, my candidacy is based entirely on word-of-mouth and write-ins.

I have a 13-point platform:

1) No welfare or government subsidies for anyone, corporate or individual;
2) A job for everyone who wants one at a wage that will support a decent living;
3) A program to end the use of fossil fuels in the U.S. by 2030;
4) A makeover of our Pre-K to 12 educational system with a real guarantee to leave no child behind, especially children of minorities;
5) A pardon for all nonviolent federal prisoners convicted of possessing or selling marijuana, and a review of all other nonviolent captives in our medieval prison system;
6) Term limits for all elected federal officeholders;
7) Gradual but steady disengagement from all non-democratic states;
8) Universal, single-payer healthcare, including free birth control and abortions within the first trimester;
9) Vibrant and progressive immigration policies that support our ideals and our need for seasonal labor and specialized talent, and effectively halt illegal immigration;
10) Two-year public service (military or civilian) from all citizens, to take place between the ages of 18 and 25, resulting in GI-bill-like support for post-secondary education;
11) Reorganization of our bloated military, consistent with maintaining the best defense of our country;
12) A female vice president;
13) What else? You tell me.

If you like what you hear, say so at webmaster@alltogethernow.org, and we’ll take it from there.

My name is Dale Copps, I am a 73-year-old white male, and I approve this message.

tags: Politics | New Political Party